Into Lin's head ^^ #1

Hey ho, hello :)

I attended a short talk today (without really knowing what was it was going to be about)

Though part of what the speaker talked about was kind of high-level :')

I still walked out of the room with some insight on certain things..

Especially at this point of my life.

Not exactly sure if you'd want to continue reading this, though.

But here goes. 

(Don't say I didn't warn you.)

 

 Making (good) things happen, which on their on does not happen.

 Well, I guess, yeah.

Sometimes you have so many things in mind that you want to achieve or see happen,

But if you do not do anything about it,

It will probably not happen.

And it gets me into thinking that I have the power to actually good things happen.

It's whether or not I'm taking that step to actually do something.

 And for a person like myself, it's pretty darn difficult heh.

It's already hard enough for me to strike a good conversation with someone,

Even doing a good gesture takes up alot of courage and willpower in me :') 

So let alone do something big.

There are many things that I'd like to contribute to in the social sector,

But knowing myself;

How my mind and my heart works..

Man, it's going to be hard on me.

But ultimately, the type of person that I am..

Although I often think of worst-case-scenarios in everything..

All I really want to do good.

And I don't mean just doing good as in doing well..

But as in doing good things, for everyone.

 

 4 Barriers to Change

 1. Knowledge - 

"Changing what I know and what I'm used to"

Knowledge about something is usually passed down and dropped on to your lap,

And sometimes you're appointed to be the one who carries or passes it on.

You do so until it becomes normal, a routine, something you're comfortable with.

It's something solid, something predictable and something set.

So when change is brought up,

You feel like it's changing your whole routine, messing with what you were comfortable with, bringing about something unpredictable and perhaps even shaky.

Thus creating a barrier;

You're don't know what to expect from it and it makes you uncomfortable.

But after all,

The knowledge you have does not have to be changed.

It's just the routine,

Perhaps something that can allow you to hold/spread that knowledge you have in a much more effective way.

You never know.

2. Belief - 

"Changing and undermining the sole purpose of why I'm here and what I signed up for"

This one usually would hit a nerve.

Even for myself, I admit.

The reason why you (and by you, I mean me, obviously) signed up for a certain thing is all based on what you know....or feel about it at the moment.

But perhaps if you just allow yourself to think of the fact that you will be learning more things along the way.

More things that may change the way you act, work, think, play, live...

Then perhaps you'll realise that you have prepare yourself for change nonetheless,

That what you signed up for isn't just going to be about what you know as of that moment,

But it's going to be about what you have and what you will get along the way.

And I do agree that some changes may stray away from my belief.

And obviously, I would struggle with that.

I mean, come on, that's pretty much a your-heart vs someone-else's-heart situation.

And don't they always tell you to listen to your own?

So the thing here is,

Always ask yourself why you signed up for it in the first place.

Stick to it, because it might be the reason for why you're here now.

And even if everything changes along the way..

3. Confidence - 

"I don't mind you making a change, but people are not going to agree to it so I do not think it will work"

Mmm, usually the one thing people (and by people, I still mean me, obviously) will eventually succumb to.

I mean, hello, it's change we're talking about??

I hate it myself.

I'm not sure how I've managed to do this all this while;

Not doing something because people do not think that it will work.

 But as for the person that I am,

If you are confident that it will work, I will support you.

If you are going to go all the way, I will go with you.

Yes, at some point of time I may not think it would work either.

But I guess it brings us back to Number 2.

Sometimes you just have to put some faith and heart in it.

You can have the confidence in your head but if you don't do it wholeheartedly,

Then I don't really see the point.

And I guess the hardest thing for me is to go against the flow of people and their opinions.

Being the usual, asian girl that I am in this society, I just cant do it. *shrugs*

 I mean, I probably could, but I would need so many stronger-willed people around me for support.

One thing I'll admit, though, is that

I am afraid of making change because of how people will react/respond to it.

 

4. Power - 

"The change you bring will undermine my position and power"

Yeah...

To hold so much power is one of the scariest things for me.

I've always perceived myself as a "small" person.

Everyone around me is always "bigger" than me.

It's just been like that for me, growing up.

I am used to fulfilling the calls.

I am used to not making the calls.

I am OK with not being the one with all the power and control.

I am OK with compromising my wants/needs with yours.

I am OK with you disagreeing to things which I suggest or propose.

I am OK with you forgetting what I told you from three days ago.

I am OK with finding my own contentment in things that you do not agree with.

I am OK with it.

But do I want to make (good) change in people?

Do I want to be influential (in a good way)?

Yes, I'd love to.

Yes, if I can make things better for people, then yes of course I would do that.

And I don't believe that I need a specific power role to do any of it.

Anyone is capable of doing it.

Even if you bring about a change,

As long a it's not something that will strip me of my beliefs or my values or my living life,

I am OK with it.

 

I just think that..

The person that I am..

I lean more towards what it is I'm doing and if I'm happy doing it.

Am I contented with doing this?

Here's an example;

I'm not even done with my diploma, yet people are already asking if I'll be heading for something that would give me a better pay.

It's not really fair for me to answer this right now,

Since it's not like I'm paying for any bills, transportation, grocery etc yet.

But...would I really ever do that?

I chose this field, I wanted this since I was five years old, I've gained all knowledge to be taking this diploma and now I'm gaining knowledge about this particular field, and there are changes and things that I've learned along the way that surprised me and got me thinking "wow I didn't know I just agreed to 3 whole years of this", and, well, I'm terribly confident about how good of an educator I'm going to be in the future, and I know that there will always be people higher than me when I graduate and start working.

But I look at what I'm studying and what I spend my time with now,

Then think about what I wanted back when I was five

And I ask myself,

Why hasn't my mind changed from when I was five?

I have been through so much change in my life so far,

And there is no doubt about it that there is more to come.

Change is the only constant in life.

But why are we so scared of change?

Why are we so scared to make change?

Lastly, a quote from Steve Jobs which the speaker shared.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

Somehow, this speaks to me of closure.

All the decisions you make and all the change you go through, good or bad, will leave a "dot" in your life.

And at the end, when you look back, I hope that you'll be able to connect all the dots and find that it was all well worth it.

May not seem like it right now;

But this too shall pass,

And hopefully it will all eventually make sense.
 

Man, I did not intend to get so personal with this post.

But oh well.

Welcome to my brain. ;)

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
  - Leo Tolstoy

 

A new journey begins tomorrow. :)

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye

2.1 DONE + OSN!. ^^ :)

Hey

Semester break has officially begun~! ^^

Now I'm literally at the halfway mark of my life in Polytechnic, oh how time flies.

Had two papers for this semester; spent most of my days studying with Wenfy & Dina who came down to AMK since it was the middle-point of our own districts.

Oh my, how broke we were just from studying out :')

Here are pictures of all the food we spent on :')

Pizza Hut.

CBTL.

Swensen's.

 Cafe Galilee.

 Mmm, bucket o' potatoes.

 10pm McDonalds because.

Brownies & Ice Cream because.

Amidst the studying, we walked past a shop and Dina spotted these cute wallet purse thingies.

It was quite a bargain so we bought it for FLC.

Requires quite abit of fine motor skills to use :'D

Guess which colour is mine :}

And soon enough, it was the 25th and we took pictures at the pond-and-big-silver-thingie-in-school using Natha's new selfie stick to commemorate the holidays :>

 The sun was shining in our eyes so 98% of the pictures were fails because our faces were just too unglam. :')

So we moved to the opposite side and tried again ~.~

Then Operation Suprise Natha (OSN) began fo'real.

The plan for the day was for all of us to go over to Natha's place for a chill-out session.

But in OSN, Wenfy had a "meeting" and could only join us later.

And Dina was to pretend that it slipped her mind and she made plans with her family.

(You should've seen Dina's acting skills. She actually said to Rifqa earlier to "wait for it, watch out for my acting skills" :'D Rifqa and I give her a 10/10 though hahaha was so funny.)

So Dina & Wenfy (The Cake Team) went to get a cake and head to Natha's place first...while Rifqa, Esther and myself (The Distraction Team) dragged Natha to go shopping hehehe.

Wasn't sure of how to stall time but thank God JE had 2 malls :')

BUT ANYWAY.

Still made some good buys.

 Necklaces from H&M:

Round pendant necklace $5.90

L pendant necklace $2.90

Head band from Accessorize:

Black & Gold headband $5.97 (70% off)

YESSSSS I love Accessorize's sale.

Their things are quite pricey but when they're on sale it's such a good steal. :')

Okay, back to OSN. :>

Started to head to Natha's place with our hungry stomachs..

And got KOI ^^

OK, I admit it;

Milk Green Tea is really nice.

THERE I SAID IT, DINA.

My Number 1 drink from KOI is Yakult Green Tea.

But after tasting Milk Green Tea a few times, realised that it's actually pretty tasty. ^^

It's really hard to explain how it tastes, it's just like a yummy creamy version of plain ol' Green Tea.

But it's not overly creamy/milky but it kinda has a clean aftertaste..?

Heh. Okay nevermind, if you like it, you like it, if you don't then you don't, aight? :'D

So all of us were on our "O.O" mode as we were going up to her house hahaha.

The Cake Team were actually hiding in one of the rooms and they took a while.

I was texting them asking "WHATS GOING ONNN" :'D

Turned out they were too excited that the cake toppled over hahahaha how cute :')

But yeah, The Cake Team came out of the room and we sang Happy Birthday and Natha's reactions was (Y) hahaha ^^ ~.~

 Operation Surprise Natha: SUCCESS~!

With the help of Natha's sister & mommy

(Thank you for being willing to entertain these kids hahaha and my sincere apologies to Natha's sister for spamming in the whatsapp group :D)

Hahaha all the "white lies :')

 "Okay everyone hold the balloon string!"

"Wah, this one like wedding photo."

:'D

Pretty polaroids!

FLC + Natha's sister! ^^ :)

So after all the hype we settled down for...

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD! :D

 Oh the chaos that happened here :')

So, so, so thankful to Natha's Mommy for the spread though ^^

 After food, we just chilled around...

Until Natha brought out her box(es) of accessories.

We turned into such girls/kids and went into dramatic-play mode :')

 Feelin' like Jay-Z with my chains on.

The whole time the room was filled with:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"NO, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK PRETTY"

"WEAR THIS. AND THIS. AND THAT."

"AHAHAHAHAHA"

"WEAR THIS AS A NECKLACE"

"WEAR THIS ONE!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

:'D

From here on it's just us with our derp faces,

so you might want to just skip to the end. ;)

Oh, how annoying :')

After all the pictures, we sat (or rather, lay) down and looked through all the pictures on the teevee screen and had a good, good laugh at ourselves. :'D

Chilled for a bit more, and we left for home, smelling exactly like food ;)

Happy Belated Birthday once again, Natha!

You're awesome possum blossom potassium (idk man) ^^ :)

And thanks to these girls for yet another Semester.

Couldn't have gone through any of it without you ladies.

We made it & I love yall~ ^^ :)

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye

:)

Oh you.

How did things

Become like this?

So much ache

In this heart

Is this all

For old times' sake?

And even if

We are fading

Or becoming

More and more

Distant

I will always be here

 Just like you were.

You have left an impact on me

And I will never forget

How or what

It was

Just

Worth.

:)

160814; Hi! Club Closing Ceremony 007!.

WHEYYYYYY!

Before anything else;

Watermelon colored straws~! ^^

August 16 2014; when I officially became an Agent in the CC. :>

Welfare And Entertainment (WAE) was my department and we're #008.

Left my mark, got my tag and I was ready to go.

(It's so golden and pretty and the font is nice and I love it *.*)

Welfare & Entermainment. (WAE)

They really wanted the Power Rangers pose.

But I had no idea what I was doing, I just followed Sya. :')
Throwback to the photoshoot session thing. :>
Had a pretty fun time, but looking tired as always.

You have no idea how many takes we took for this shot :')

So much laughing and awkward posing.

 (L - R)

Joshua, Syahirah, Kelvin, Lin, Matthew

My favorite picture of us; shows so much about what we're like as individuals, if not together.

Candid it is, but each and every one of you can make me laugh (see Matthew's expression) and we can just start talking about anything we see (see Kelvin's expression).

And sometimes, even when we don't get each other's jokes, we'll just look at each other and still laugh anyway (see Joshua & Sya's expression).

:')

Never thought that I'd actually dance in front of people;

as in dance a whole different kind of dance than I've performed before.

And I must say, I liked it. ~.~

Remember how we chose the choreography and songs, how we learned and improvised the moves.

Meeting every Tuesday evening, starting off pretty dead but suddenly have outbursts of energy after breaking fast/having dinner together.

Choosing the food; arguing over chicken nuggets, drumlets and wings, rice and noodles, fruit punch and iced lemon tea, cream puffs and eclairs. Calling up the caterer and laughing at each other's emails.

Some of you have had mad assignments/tests/exams and personal stuff going on, but you guys still came down and put in so much effort to put on the best show we could give.

It was mad nervewrecking when people started gathering up front and we were starting :')

But ultimately, told myself to just have fun because that's all that matters with the memories. ^^

Anyway, I think we were pretty darn awesome after all. I would do it all again. :>

Thank you so much for accepting this role/department even though some of you think you cant dance (but you can!).

And I am sewper thankful to be in this department with you lot.

THANK YOU for all the laughs and stuffs, THANK YOU for being part of one of the best experience I've had in this club.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE WAE 007!.

*RING RINGGG*

WAE??

YOOHOOHOO!

"BEST 30 SECONDS OF YOUR LIVES"

Soon enough, the ceremony starts and I was already standing by the curtains.

LOL at my pronunciation as I talk on the mic though.

I never fail to always trip on my own words and sentences. :')

Had quite a number of song singing performances this time, it was quite cray and I didn't get to watch much performances :(

But enjoyed myself nonetheless, thank you for throwing me on the stage (yet again) for a few scenes and stuff :'D

3Army.

My lovely instructors;

Jiaying & Winnie

Wow, I have actually completed my Intermediate level.

Every Monday's a rush from attachment to school and my instructors never fail to give me snacks and/or time to eat (because they know I'm kinda inconsistent with my food intake :P)

But anyways, so happy to get to sign the songs that I really liked, and our video turned out to actually be pretty funny :')

Happy to have shared the stage with you lot, though I messed up big time :')

When the video comes out, you can watch how Shi Mei & I are perfectly out of the lights, just doing our own thang :'D

But really though, hope to see you lot in Alumni next semester! :)

1G.

Thank you to the both of you for putting in so, so, so, so much effort into the performance.

Both of you hardly met each other, and we actually did not have a full practice/rehearsal together until about 45 minutes before our performance.

But I think you babes pulled it off better than I ever imagined :')

You have no idea how I felt when Jolene and I walked into the washroom to change, and I saw the both of you standing with earplugs on, facing the mirror and practicing to the song. :') :') :')

It was probably fate that the four of us bumped into each other, and we managed to do a few runs of the song together.

Am so proud of you girls; I always remember your willingness to learn despite finding it difficult and whatnot.

Thank you 1G. ^^

Jolene.

My dear partner.

Thank you for being the high whenever I'm low, thank you for being oh so understanding towards everything, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for giving me comfort and reassurance, for believing in me and pushing me to continue when things got difficult, for filling up all the gaps I leave, and just everything else.

You are a fun, awkward, lovely, awesome person and I hope you know that.

Jiayou for everything, looking forward to more experiences with you in the future. ^^ :)

1H.

(Part of) my class from last semester; 1Hot.

Missing a few others + Kai Shiong though.

But HOW CAN I FORGET MY 1H, I still remember the last CC when they surprised Kai Shiong & I with signings and cupcakes and cards AAAAAAAAHHH I love and miss you lot so much!

Super happy to see that some of you are instructors and/or part of the planning committee!

YAAAAAAY ^^ :)

Thursdays.

Ah, you fun fun fun lot.

It's such a joy to be part of Thursdays (again).

Thursday, being 4/5 through the week, is the day where the week's accumulated tiredness has almost reached it's peak.

And every Thursday morning, I ask myself "How on earth am I going to survive today?"

But I just do, especially with all of you.

That 9pm to 11pm I am even more awake, even though I'm tired.

There's always smiles, food and laughter..

Teaching you guys the songs were easy and breezy, and yall will always give the best, crazy and whacky suggestions whenever I'm stuck with cutting the song.

Super fun and exciting to have shared the stage with you lot as well, it was a fun song ^^

Oh and thank you to those who let us crash your class during lessons too hehe

I've learned so much from every one of you, and I hope this will be something you'll keep in your memory for awhile.

Thank you thank you and just thank you. ^^ :)

Dina & Nathasha.

Oh, dear God. :')

Totally never expected this to happen at all, but so so happy it did.

It was a whole new experience for me, one that I have never even thought of.

I don't know how to put this in words, but you both are two of my pillars throughout both my CCA and Academic lives (Rifqa you too okay ^^).

The jokes, teasings and most of all support that yall have given me is just insane, so thank you so much for e v e r y t h i n g.

I'll save the rest for some other time, since I'll prolly see you every other day anyway.

LOVE YOU BABESIES ^^ :>

Oh, had mad fun performing with the CC Committee too!

The video was really funny and the song signing performance was awesome, from the L O V E formation that we bet no one noticed to John's baby freeze to Joshua not balancing at his E to leaving an awkward gap in the formations :')

But I guess what matters most to me is that we all had fun in our performance together, especially after working together in the 5 weeks

Thank you for helping to make CC happen. ^^

Main Committee 14/15.

 Ah, where do I begin.

 We actually pasted the deco on the loft wall because we did not have time to snap pictures at the Music Box :'D

Stayed up and watched videos and then I have totally no recollection as to how I ended up falling asleep curled up on half the sofa; still in my performance outfit, with a blanket magically on me, till the next morning.

Literally woke up and went "O.O where's everyone?" :')

Cant tell if John closed his eyes in this picture or he's just smiling. :/ :'D

Actually managed to snap individual pictures with each of you too ~.~

I have not had hit that level of fun song singing before till now :P

I felt so, so comfortable sharing the stage with the 12 of you, signing, moving to formations and dancing with hardly any worries.

Sometimes I wonder how/what it is that actually can make things happen.

And I guess the answer has been there around me; each and every one of you.

Like I've said before,

13 is (one of) my favorite numbers, and the 12 of you makes me complete.

Coincidence? I think not. ;)

Cheers to all else that's coming through.

We're pretty much at the halfway mark,

and it already pains me that we have to count down from here.

Anyway, hope you have a good rest-of-the-week!

All the best for exams and whatnot. :)

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye