Friday, 20 February 2015

Into Lin's head #6: I picked this for you too.

Dear you.

BROKEN HEARTS.

I know you've lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant - you cannot control the depth of a wound another inflicts upon you.

Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow will be a new day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it's okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary - because it makes you so much more human. And though I can't promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will - eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time.

Take all the time you need.

Lang Leav
(Lullabies)

I cannot even begin to explain how much this one speaks for me.
All the words I wish I knew how to structure and think of when I'm in that position.
I don't think anyone understands, but..
That's how my head and heart works.
In positivity or in negativity,
when it comes to me,
I let myself feel it.
If it's negative, I do try to fight it,
but that's more of probably only because I am around people whom I don't want to make worry or negative too.
(But when I do come to you to talk about them...it means I'm really on the freakin' edge, I must've been really breaking. Cause I'm like a balloon, I take as much as I can and then I'll blow up when I've had too much. But then I can always start again.)
I never liked telling people that "it'll be better tomorrow" or "there's plenty of fish in the sea" or "you should feel blah blah blah"..
I'd very much rather like to tell you that, if you're hurting, it's a completely valid emotion.
It's okay to be hurt, life does that, life - and everything in it - can, if not will, hurt you.
But I'm sorry, because I don't and may never understand how much it's hurting you, because I'm not you.
But I'm even more sorry, if I do ever have to know how much it hurts you..
All I can really ever tell you is that, well, accept it and let time do it's thing.
Have faith and believe.
That things will get better.
And that I'm not rushing you to feel better tomorrow, or the day after.
Take all the damn time you need.
And for the most part, I am really terribly sorry that I cannot take the pain away from you..
But in that time, if you really do look back, you'll find that there was actually something or someone good in it.
Something or someone that has actually been there for you the whole time, while you were hurting.
They were there for you when you were the one hurting over something else.
Now, isn't that a blessing in disguise? 

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